Crazy Old Lady

by Mike McGranaghan

A warning: Crazy Old Lady has one of the most gruesome dog deaths I’ve ever seen about ten minutes into its running time. If you can get past that, you’re in for a wild ride. Don’t get me wrong - far worse things happen. They just happen to people, not pooches. And they’re done in a delightfully macabre manner.

Traveling single mother Laura (Agustina Liendo) asks ex-boyfriend Pedro (Daniel Hendler) to check in on her dementia-suffering mother Alicia (played by longtime Pedro Almodovar collaborator Carmen Maura). He obliges, only to find himself in deep trouble once he sets foot inside her decrepit old home. Alicia believes he’s really her late husband Cesar and, for reasons I won’t get in to, chains him to a chair and begins the process of torturing him. He, naturally, attempts to escape by outthinking her.

This is not a Saw picture, where we’re supposed to get off on people being tortured. Alicia is playing a psychological game, and there’s morbid humor in the back-and-forth she and Pedro have. The poor guy undergoes some painful stuff, for sure. A particular punishment is not painful yet still manages to be as awful as the ones that are. He does, however, keep his wits about him throughout, allowing him to further confuse his already senile tormentor.

Writer/director Martín Mauregui stages everything at a slightly exaggerated level, which is why we can laugh at horrific stuff. He’s got two lead actors who are more than game for the approach. Maura is wickedly funny as Alicia, giving the kind of grand, showy performance that would make her old friend Almodovar proud. That quality is precisely why her character is frightening; she’s genuinely weird. Hendler plays off her nicely, mixing “What is wrong with this woman?” disbelief and “Get me the hell out of here!” panic.

Crazy Old Lady additionally contains several moments guaranteed to get you squirming. Despite the comedic leanings, there’s plenty here to scratch the itch for conventional horror. You can’t watch the movie and not put yourself in Pedro’s place. A bit with an electric carving knife is particularly chill-inducing.

The film does stretch a one-note premise a bit too thin at times. It never breaks, though, and that makes this story a twisted treat.

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